my little star
by SkinnyJeansNLattes
Summary: Mallory. That meant unfortunate, and people made "funny" jokes about her name, she laughed bitterly. He couldn't fight the monsters hard enough. Now that they thought about it... their little star shone brighter than all the other ones they could see as far they was concerned. But all good things come to an end; so did Mallory. (Oneshot up!) 3rd Catergory:Hurt/Comfort.
1. The Preview

A/n: hey. I'm just being inconsistent now. Excuse me. Here's an angsty/very sad one-shot. And btw I don't own anything.

This is a preview to "My little star."

* * *

23rd November 2014, 22:31pm.

A scream was heard in the house. Only 2 hearts were beating now. If you were quiet enough, you would hear her crying as his breathing was uneven and heavy, as if he was trying to give his breath away to someone else. Their tears falling on the wooden floor, matching the gentle pitter-patter rhythm of the heavy rain.

What you wouldn't see is that her eyes were red, locks of her chestnut brown tresses dishevelled, his tears falling on the source of the grief, closing his hazel eyes, as he held as tightly as he could. You would just see little locks of bronze hair peeping out of his calloused hands, and his heavy hearted wife trying rocking herself back and forth, holding the blanket that held the last scent of her little "star".

But what you finally realise is that this young couple's baby has just died.


	2. my little star

A/n: Hey, I hope this makes up for the lack of presence. Reviews and

* * *

24th November 2014, 13:22pm.

Mallory Lyra Moon was born exactly 1 year ago, Ally thought. The petite brunette laughed bitterly at the jokes people made about Mallory, well she did know Mallory meant "Unfortunate", she should've seen it coming. She misses the playful, but annoying jokes now.

But on the other hand, Blondie insisted there should be a musical theme to her and lo behold, Lyra, meaning _"Harp" _or _"Lyre"_ and coincidentally is also the name of a constellation, which was she called Mallory her little star.

Mrs. Moon, who was looking through photographs and clutching a bundle of pink and was wondering about where her daughter's name was derived from, knew her fallen husband wasn't doing so well either.

You could hear the grief-stricken man softly singing in the nursery, in the same position he was last night. But he fought the paramedics; with all the strength he had left but only was beaten by their pity, who, in his words: _"stole"_ Mallory away from him. He insisted he stayed where he was, and that was that.

"_Close your eyes, sleep tight, I will fight the monsters in the night."_ You could hear that on repeat, the sobs in between each syllable, and the sniffling nose that follows. Grief and heartbreak poured out of his voice like a waterfall. The lullaby soon was reduced to him mouthing every other word.

3 knocks were heard, one slow then two that followed each other like two quavers. That must be my wife, he thought.

"_Hey." _She opens the door and a little creak follows her entrance, and then she looks at her broken husband. She looks at the pink mirror and gasps at her reflection, barely seeing it through the dark room, only just bright enough as a sliver of light escaped through the thick curtains.

"_You still look beautiful, everyday. I'm so lucky." _She smiles as he whispers while still frowning at when she was horrified at herself, then looking up into the mirror and half smiling. She smiles back, crouching downwards and kissing the messy mop of blonde and muttering.

_"I love you."_ Her words were whispered, but loud enough so he could hear them. Those three words echoed in his ears.

_"Me too. Well I love you, not me. Well you know what I mean Alls."_ He sighs and laughs, his voice cracks, the evidence of a worn-out heart. His bitter laugh only provoked more tears.

_"I wish…"_ Ally didn't want to finish that sentence because her eyes were blurring with salty tears already she tried to wipe them away, but she didn't want to wipe them with what she was holding.

_"Shh…"_ He whispered, bringing his equally emotionally-wracked wife down to his level and laying her head on his lap, his hand stroking the gentle strands of hair that his late daughter had received from her equally as amazing mother. "Me too Alls, me too."

_"I had one shot Aus. One shot. I blew it. I was such a bad mo-"_ She bit her lip, which started to bleed. You could tell that was the least of her sorrows. Her plump, pale pink lips were soaked in the metallic-tasting blood, the red liquid soaking itself into her lips into little branch shapes.

_"Ally, no. Don't say that please. You didn't know it would happen."_ Austin's eyes creased as he looked down to his wife's equally damp eyes. He sighs and pulls out a dog-eared picture of himself, Ally, who was on her 7 month of pregnancy, and Mallory, who technically wasn't really there yet. But who cares? "Look. You and I. That was us, last September." Austin smiled, bitterly as he blinked, Ally had taken the photo away from the owner's hands. She holds it to her chest as she curls up into a fetus.

_"It's her birthday today."_ Ally's words silenced the little joy that was left. "She would've been one today." She started to sobs between her words. Her lip was no longer in pain but her heart is. "We were going to throw a party for her." She squeezes her hand, not noticing it's almost as pink as, well see for yourself.

_"She would've worn her pink dress."_ Austin regretted those words as he lay his eyes upon Ally's hands, which held the pink, cloud-like frock which their daughter was due to wear in less than an hour. He realised that was what his wife had in her possession. He studies the glitter, on the little ballerina style dress and smiles weakly.

There was a silence. She abruptly sat up, her eyes widened.

_"Aus. Oh god."_ Ally realised that no one had cancelled the birthday party.

_"What?"_ Austin's eyes grew as he heard those words fly out of her mouth. "Oh no." It dawned on him, all at once. "The party." He brought a hand to his chapped lips and drew out a shaky sigh.

They forgot to cancel the party.

The one Ally had planned for months.

The one where Mallory should've spent her first year on this Earth with everyone she loved.

* * *

September 24th, 09:26pm

"_AUSTIN MONICA MOON!" _

_Oh dear. That sounds like my wife, the 21 year old male thought. Austin learned, if she used his whole name, he was on the deep end of the pool._

"_Yes Alls?" You could feel the vibrations of the monster-like stomps coming down the stairs. Oh yes. Ally is DEFINITELY capable of scaring her husband. "Ahaha… You look lovely." He laughs nervously, as he comes face to face with his beloved, red faced, but with the adorable scrunched up nose. She could only go so red, Austin thought._

"_Where are they?" Ally calmly said. That was not a good sign, he thought. I am on thin ice. Oh god. _

"_Ahaha… Your pickles? They're uhh…" His petrified eyes dart around the room, looking around, and then catching sight of his beautiful daughter._

_He gazed at his innocent child holding the handmade dusty pink, (yes, dusty pink as Ally had given him a lecture on types of pink) butterfly infested invitations that her mother ever so carefully handmade over the course of 5 hours. He laughs nervously, biting his lip. "Ahahahah…" He could feel his body trembling._

"_Austin, you have 5 seconds to tell me otherwise we are not having s-" Ally soon stopped her "threat" and switched her glare from Austin to a horrified expression even "The Scream" couldn't compare itself to it. "Austin."_

"_Oh… I'm in a lot of trouble… heheheheh…" He scratches the back of his neck. He winces as his daughter rips one of the many invitations his wife made, and he softened at how Mallory was very amused at how nice rice paper butterflies tasted, her dark hazel orbs brightening with every savouring bite, her drool smudging the "cerulean" blue ink that contrasted the light fuchsia on the A6 piece of card._

"_You are in deep trouble MONICA!" Well that was embarrassing. _

"_Did you just call me Monica?" Austin enquired, a smug smirk came to his face and one of his golden-bronze eyebrows went up slowly as Austin narrowed his eyes playfully, not taking his fuming wife's "threatening" behaviour seriously._

"_Yes. YES I DID!" She pouted, putting her hands on her waist, challenging her husband, her eyes glaring and face going darker shades of red, her rich tresses bouncing._

"_Well…" The rest of the devilish blonde's words were blurred as he suddenly leapt forward ungracefully towards his wife, and ran after her, laughing as if he wasn't watching his daughter tear those perfect invitations._

_Ally, on the other hand was squealing and laughing like there was no tomorrow. You could feel how much in love they were, even if those invitations had to be posted today._

_You could tell they weren't going to be posted today._

* * *

24th November 2014, 23:59pm.

Ally thought about the calls she made to the Moons, her and Austin's friends and Dawson family and sighed, exasperated at how fake they were. Ally repeated the same phrase when she called each person who was invited, luckily there weren't that many. The conversations were tedious after a while but still reopened the broken heart that would never heal. She couldn't bear it.

_"Hi. Sorry, the party is cancelled."_ Ally's voice was hoarse and quiet, but she had to do it, everyone expected her to be strong.

**"_Aww, that's a shame Ally! Why?"_** The jovial voice through the phone was oblivious to the passing of the caller's little child that everyone adored.

_"I'll tell you soon."_ The soon was whispered, but was still loud enough to pick up.

**"_Oh okay. I hope you and Austin and __Mallory__ have a great day!"_** Mallory. Mallory wouldn't be having a great day.

_"Okay thank you for understanding… See you later!"_ Ally knew they wouldn't understand.

It's like having your heart torn out of your chest, then the rich, red muscle being ripped apart in front of your eyes then dropped into the harsh depths of hell, while all the pieces crumbled whilst departing. Multiply it by 10. But it's still worse even then. Your very own child you've been waiting for ripped apart from your safe hands, not knowing you couldn't protect them enough. Ally was dreading the "It wasn't your fault" line over and over when the hearse has reached its destination.

_**"Okay Ally, bye!" **_At least the pity wasn't there… yet.

After each call, a new salty drop would drip down her cheek, and another piece of her would be left crumbled. But the less they know the better. She always tried to be positive and optimistic; I guess it was always her thing.

She wandered quietly and gently down the hallway, where Mallory had her first steps (but that's another story), and arrived at Mallory's room. She made the familiar knock on the oak wood door to console her silent husband who was screaming out emotions.

_"Aus?"_ The devastated female tenderly took his fisted hand up into her own delicate palm and gingerly squeezed it._ "Austin?"_ She tried again, but he wasn't responding. His limp body, curled into a ball was stuck on the same place he held on to his angelic daughter for dear life. _"Austin. Come on."_ Ally bit her lip, trying to get her husband back and re-opened the harsh wound, unpicking the healed cut._ "Well you can't just stay here."_ Ally tried to soothe her best friend, placing a hand on his back and kissing his cheek, which had some dark shadowing stubble growing.

_"What can I do then?"_ Austin asked harshly, voice worn out and in pain. His were eyebrows giving away emotion while his was forehead creasing underneath his shaggy hair. The way his bottom lip was trembling was enough to make Ally cry again. _"Come here."_ His face and voice softened as he saw his wife's change of expression.

So they sat together, clinging to each other's arms, bawling and wailing. His cries were louder than ever, trying to remove the pain that was everywhere in him.

_"WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE MY DAUGHTER?"_ Ally howled, screaming her pain away. Her tears smudging her make-up, but she didn't care. _"My beautiful little star."_ She whispered. She rocked herself back and forth on the carpet that was tear-stained. _"My little star."_ She repeated it like a mantra _"My beautiful, beautiful little star."_ Her lips wobbled, distorting her speech.

The stars shone through the gap between the curtains, illuminating the duo. The glow in the dark stars somehow made them smile, regardless of their tears and loss. They still had each other.

_"I love you, my little star."_ Ally murmured through the darkness, placing a bunch of hair behind her ear.

_"Me too, Mall."_ Austin replied as a big smile cracked on his face because he knows he truly loves his daughter, even if she isn't with him. _"Happy 1st Birthday, my little star. Happy birthday."_ Austin closed his eyes, awaiting tears to squeeze out, but they never did.

Ally reached for the pink dress that was left on the cot, the glittering pieces reflecting light from the sliver of hope shining through the curtains. She held it close and smiled through all the pain she had been through. She got up and reached for Austin's hand. She pulled him, or tried to pull him, up and led him towards the window and they opened the curtains.

_"I hope you had the best year ever, because you were my- our best year!"_ Ally shouted out the window that she opened only moments ago and grabbed Austin's hand as she corrected herself.

Austin knew he would never get through the bottomless pit of pain, but at least he has to try. His mind was racing through the memories he had with Ally and Mallory. For his favourite girls in the whole wide world need him, even if one of his girls aren't visible to him anymore. He has to try.

_"I hope we were your best year too, Mall."_ Austin whispered to the wind, carrying the leaves as they were lifted from the cold, damp roads.

The couple were tired, but rejuvenated from that confession they had been dying to say. Now that's left is room for more memories.

* * *

"One good thing about music is, when it hits you, you feel no pain." – Bob Marley.

"Find a place with joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." – Joseph Campbell.

* * *

A/n: Should I do an epilogue? (The funeral) I'm sorry, I'm feeling the sadness at the moment.


	3. 11 months and 30 days

A/n: hey… I've decided to make the funeral and Christmas chapter (below.) Reviews are appreciated, even criticism. Yes I get this is very sad. The funeral is more focused on Austin more than Ally, as the previous chapter was mostly focused on Ally. Also I didn't mean to make the end rhyme. Also I don't own A&amp;A, T-swift and her songs or eggnog. ENJOY. Sorry, this was kind of rushed.

* * *

29th November 2014, 12:22.

_"Oh Austin dear, it wasn't your fault."_ His mother's words ringing in his ears, sounding patronising but sincere towards Austin at this time.

Oh. But was it Austin's fault or not? Well… because it was all his responsibility to look after his little star.

The depressed man looks down at the little casket that was decorated with Egyptian Star Flower in a pink so light, it almost looked white. He picks up a fallen flower from the bouquet and squeezes it in his right hand, encasing it entirely out of sight. He closes his dull hazel eyes, as his darkened pupils swim in a pool of bloodshot caused by his hand constantly rubbing his eyes. He puts the flower's remains in his pocket.

_"We may pray for our dear Mallory Lyra Moon on her safe journey to God's hands. We may remember her in our hearts forever."_ The reverend spoke sincerely with a professional edge. But if you can listen close enough, you could hear his heart break for the young, now childless couple. You could feel the empathy tearing out of his speech. _"Now, the father of Mallory will speak about his wonderful time with Mallory."_ The man with the collared robe lifts his hand towards the broken-hearted man and smiles pityingly at the mop of blonde hair starting to rise up to respond to his summoning.

_"Um. Hi, I'm Austin. Well I guess you would know that… Well today I was going to read the speech I prepared for these last few days, and then I thought to myself: is my daughter someone I have to read about from some cards? And the only answer I could think of was no. No because she is someone you can't forget. You don't need to remember her smiling the smile she shared with her mother. You will never ever forget her- her,"_ Austin registers the salty tears and his silent sobs would soon not be suppressed.

He looks at the first row in front of him and sees his wife wearing a light pink dress, because then she matches what their daughter is wearing. He marvels at the radiant woman that he knows is his, her two sleeved light dusty pink dress glowing in the sunlight while the end of the dress reaches below her knees, complimenting her white wedges that are stood on the pathway, making her a good 3 inches taller. He looks down momentarily at his pink sleeves poking out of his black suit jacket and smiles briefly and carries on.

_"You would forget her melodious laugh that blessed the room with happiness and love, her innocent and friendly character that greeted you in a series of babbles." _This earns him a few laughs, as evidence of reminiscing about the magnificent child and the individual memories she shared with many people to brighten their day._ "Well my dear wife managed to teach Mallory 'Mama' and beat me to her first word. She didn't stop saying it all week." _This manages to make Ally smile again. Austin finds a new burst of confidence… until he lays his eyes on the little casket, and then he's back to square one. _"But what I'm saying on the whole is… My little star is someone you could never forget; and I hope you feel the same." _Austin nods at the black casket decorated with silver and pink stars and asks quietly (towards the reverend): _"Can I see her? Can I see her one more time?" _

Ally gasps, shock and sadness washes over her and her lips start to wobble. She quickly runs over to her husband in 4 strides and looked at him in concern, hoping he doesn't do something he will regret.

_"Austin. Look at me and tell me that you are sure you want to do this." _The lady in pink tries to coax her husband away from more grief and heartbreak, her eyebrows joining together in a frown, resulting in her forehead creasing ever so slightly.

He replies in the most serious way possible.

_"No." _His eyes stare dead on towards his distressed wife, _"I need to do this." _He beckons for Ally to look with him. _"Please. One last time Alls." _She studies his face, while processing while he just said only mere moments ago. In a matter of seconds, she nods slowly and holds the bigger hand that was waiting for her. She nods again and a tear, lined with mascara, runs down her face as she silently cursed to herself that she didn't use waterproof mascara as she delicately wiped the stray tear, making her slightly rosy cheek dry again.

_"Okay." _And that was that.

* * *

25th December 2014, 14:18pm.

Christmas was empty.

Even though ironically, there were a lot of people in the young Moons' residence. Well Mum did insist, Austin thought, while his mother kissed her son square on the lips while he was rolling his eyes. Ally laughed at the _"bonding"_.

But her heart ached. She was supposed to be enjoying herself; she scolds herself in her mind.

But then she remembered her daughter who, by now, would've eaten something she shouldn't have and then Austin would've sheepishly looked away and laughed, then he would've taken cover behind something to save himself. She smiled, remembering the Christmas outfit Mallory wore last year and how she ended up attempting to eat her red Santa's hat.

_"It's okay, Alls,"_ Her husband notices her distant look towards the frame that contained the eventful Christmas from the year before. _"Do you want to sit down with me while my Mum is making some eggnog?" _He nudges the part of her arm connecting the elbow and her shoulder, making Ally topple over and the landing in Austin's arms. She shrieks, which results in laughter from her catcher.

_"Sure." _She gets up, while brushing the imaginary dust from her Christmas themed jumper and then pushes Austin down by his shoulders before he registers what she said, which in her opinion took a lot of effort (of course she would deny it if you were to ask her). Within seconds, Ally has taken her usual place on the homely sofa, waiting for her ambushed husband to return, whilst playing with a lone string unravelling from her jumper. _"OOOH!" _She squeals, knowing her husband had grabbed her, and judging by her current state, has tipped her upside down and then he carries her all the way to the outdoor pool, decorated with a layer of snow, which may I add is slightly frozen.

_"Y'know what Alls?"_ Austin puts on a thinking face, a smirk threatening to appear to ruin the faux innocence in his expression, expecting his dear beloved wife to reply.

_"Austin! Put me down, safely inside so we can enjoy your mother's special eggnog." _Ally worded her sentence carefully as the last time this situation happened, she ended up diving with Austin in her favourite sundress. _"PLEASE."_ Her words seething with faux politeness and hoping Austin won't break the ice. No pun intended. Sorry.

_"Or else…?"_ His left eyebrow lifts up and his smirk breaks the act. His blonde hair gently moves with the gentle breeze moving the few under zero degrees Celsius particles of snow.

_"Okay, two months without s-"_This would do the trick. She feels him panicking, as he breathes deeply and then quickly, he runs back inside with Ally, switching her position from upside-down to bridal and then gently lays her down on the sofa. She laughs at his flushed cheeks and messed up hair. She ruffles the _"ready-made rock star"_ hairdo and kisses his cheek. _"That desperate huh?"_ Ally winks at him, then moving her eyebrows up and down.

_"Why wouldn't I be? You're amazing," _Austin rests his head on Ally's and rubs his nose with Ally's and then smirks before giggling, breaking the intimate contact.

_"Oh? You did know what I was going to threaten you with, right?" _Austin cocks his head to the side, like a lost puppy and then widens his eyes, while a deep red tomato shade of a blush accompanies it.

_"Just so that we're clear, could you tell me so… that we're on the same page? Ahaha…" _Austin scratches the back of his neck, sighing in embarrassment.

_"I was going to say two months without seeing Dez," _Ally tells the blushing man and then bops his nose before walking off. Suddenly, she's pulled onto Austin's lap.

_"Right. Without seeing Dez." _His face is a breadth apart from hers, his eyes playfully dancing while hers is mimicking his. Austin hasn't felt this happy since a month ago, he smiles and then pulls away. Soon Ally rests on his lap, smiling with content whilst going to sleep. He strokes her dark, chocolate-coloured locks, twirling his fingers into each silky curl before his mother walks in with the luxurious smelling traditional Christmas beverage.

_"Oh. What did I miss?"_ His mother looks amused at the young couple and is aware of their playful, romantic antics. She missed the times when they were awkward teenagers, trying to find a way into this world.

She missed their happiness and light-hearted personalities that lit up the room whenever they entered. She smiles before settling the drinks on coasters (as Ally has a thing with coasters) and then running her hand through her son's hair, smiling out of relief. She closes her eyes and sighs with joy before she returns to the kitchen, waiting for her husband to sweep her off her feet. Well after he returns from work. But right now, she's okay with Austin and Ally being distracted for a while.

They don't need a weight on their shoulders right now.

And no one needs to know if Austin and Ally will be okay, because they're the fun, jocular couple everyone knows about. But sometimes they're not as easy to work out as you think they are.

But yes. Right now, they're okay.

* * *

23rd November 2015, 12:18pm

Austin exits the car and helps his wife down to the pavement leading to the graveyard; their mood is dropping exceeding low by the minute, tears threatening to reveal their place to the cool breeze in autumn. Ally spots the slab of grey and immediately runs over to, but carefully not stepping over/on any other graves.

She stops. She breathes. She cries. She falls. She hugs herself into a ball. She peeps out from her little ball and smiles half-heartedly at the gravestone.

_"Come on baby with me, we're gonna fly away, from here." _She whispers the quote from Taylor Swift's Ronan.

He catches up to her, his breath gradually regulates. He breathes out, creating a white vapour in the air. He crouches down, and then guides his fingers over the letter on the plaque, smiling out of sadness.

You find them staring at the grey smooth, carved out stone. A bouquet of star flowers, almost white but look again. She was pure, but her death wasn't. They're followed by a trail of petals, as they leave the graveyard from their sights.

It wasn't usual to not find them here, they visit every day.

You can hear the sobs coming out as chokes from her and him crying with no shame.

The love they give is as equal as their sorrow.

There's no difference today or tomorrow.

Murmurs of sweet confessions come with their visit each time, with a fresh pink Egyptian Star, as fresh as the morning is lain upon her grave.

They meet for only fifteen minutes every single day.

They stand there, tall and proud, wearing pink.

They're not as simple as you think.

What you see is that her eyes were red, locks of her chestnut brown tresses dishevelled, his tears falling on the source of the grief, closing his hazel eyes, as he held as tightly as he could. You would see little petals peeping out of his calloused hands, and his heavy hearted wife trying rocking herself back and forth, holding the blanket that held the last scent of her little "star".

But what you realise is that people don't change.

But you should still hold on to them.

Even if they're okay.

* * *

"Mallory Lyra Moon,

Aged 11 months and 30 days.

Daughter to parents Austin and Ally Moon.

_"I love you to the moon and back, my little star." _

November 24, 2013 – November 23rd 2014".


End file.
